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“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.”

“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head.”

Jim Furyk’s swing – “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”

“He’s (Luke Donald) a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx between the cheeks of his arse and out popped $500.”

Describing VJ’s prodigious practice regime – “VJ hits more balls than Elton John’s chin.”

“That’s a great shot with that swing.”

“It’s OK – the bunker stopped it.”

At Augusta 2011 – “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it.”

“That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.”

“Everything moves except his bowels.”

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

“That green appears smaller than a Pygmie’s nipple”.

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  • Home
    • Archives >
      • The Masters 2015 >
        • Results Day One
        • Results Day Two
        • Results Day Three
        • Results Day Four
      • Sweepstake Info 2014 >
        • 2014 Players Results
        • 2014 Masters Results
        • 2014 US Open Results
        • 2014 Open Championship Results
        • 2014 PGA Championship Results
      • Sweepstake Info 2013 >
        • The Masters 2013 >
          • Final Day Results
        • The Open Championship >
          • Final Day Results
        • The US PGA >
          • Final Day Results
        • The US Open >
          • Final Day Results
        • The Players Championship 2013 >
          • Final Day Results
  • Q & A
    • How do I Enter
    • Can I enter more than once
    • Can I change my picks after I have sent them
    • How are the points awarded
    • What happens if one of my players doesn't start
    • How do I see my picks after the entry has closed?
  • Majors Homepage
    • The Masters >
      • Who qualifies for the Masters
      • 2015 Master Sweepstake >
        • Sign up form
    • The Players Championship >
      • Who qualifies for The Players Championship
    • The US Open >
      • Who qualifies for The US Open
    • The Open Championship >
      • Who qualifies for the Open Championship
      • The Open Championship History
    • The PGA Championship >
      • Who qualifies for the PGA Championship
    • The Fedexcup Playoffs >
      • How The Fedex Cup Works
  • Golf Humour
    • Best golf lesson "EVER"
    • Golf Partner
    • David Feherty quotable quotes
    • Half Hour Late
    • The Secret to the golf swing
    • Beginners guide to the golf swing
  • Contact Us
  • Current Event
    • US Open 2015